Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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