Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
