i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
