At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
