His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
