and next time when you feel me up, do it right
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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