if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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