Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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