Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
