So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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