I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
