I want to have your abortion
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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