I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
