Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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