no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
