Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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