I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
