In the future we'll all be gay
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
