His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
