he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
