when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Its about making memories worth repressing
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
