even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize