i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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