I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
