I can text with my tongue
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
