You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
