Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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