I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
