He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You dont lie about slip and slides
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
