Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
