Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
