Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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