The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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