At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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