just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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