Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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