you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
