Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize