his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i think i just lost a toe
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
