your room smells of hookers.
And success
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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