How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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