You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
