Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize