yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
