i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
