Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
