what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
