this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize