I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
