She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
