I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize