I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He? As in you personified your dick?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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