If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
