Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
