The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
