3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Alive.
So much puke
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
