Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
