Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
