I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
