garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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