So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She tied me up with her honor cords...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
