Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So squirting runs in the family.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
