The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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